I was always Spock


If the game was Star Trek, I was always Spock.

I’m old enough to have watched the original Star Trek series during its first run.   Brand new, never-before-seen — not syndicated, not rerun, and not from the past.  New.  Now.

Just hearing about it, well before the first episode, sent me into paroxysms of joy.  Science fiction!  On TV!  And not monster movies, not evil aliens.  The real deal — or so I hoped.

And when the first photos  and articles appeared in TV Guide my hopes went higher.   And when the show premiered, it did not disappoint.

Looking back at the original series now, oh, there’s plenty to criticize.  Of course there is.

But the flaws it had were the flaws of its time, while the virtues it had were its own –  and more forward-looking than anything else to be found on the TV of those days.    The positives shone so very brightly, and that was all that mattered.

And there was Spock.

The instant I saw him, I wanted to be him.   He was everything I loved.   Science, reason, strangeness.  Discovery, adventure.

He was smart, and it was good.  He was wise, and others turned to him for that.

He was the Outsider, and I didn’t just want to be an outsider, I was one –  and I liked it.

The existence of Spock let the world know that the Outsider is a good and worthy thing to be.

I was just at the age when one stops playing make-believe… but I still played make-believe.   Perhaps I’ve never stopped.

And in my games, and in my dreams, I was Spock.




2 Responses to “I was always Spock”

  • Brian Says:

    In 1968 I was in Boston for ten weeks attending classes at Northeastern University. I was trying to do a tough thing – pass two actuarial exams at the same time. I was focused on my studies morning, noon and evening for six and a half days a week. But on Thursday evening I went to a local bar and plunked myself down in front of the TV. I ordered up a hamburger and fries and a bunch of beer and watched Star Trek.

    There were a lot of reasons to like Star Trek. For me the most compelling one was its optimism about the future of the human race. Apply rationality, courage, science and ambition and the sky’s the limit. Kirk and Spock were the embodiment of these virtues.

    As it happened I only passed one of the two exams. Maybe if I’d studied instead of watching Star Trek it would have been different. But I wouldn’t change the past even if I could. The emotional lift I got from watching Star Trek was too important.

  • jesse the k Says:

    Oh! Precisely my experience, Rosemary! It made me so hopeful! There was a company of people who thought like this, who had crafted this fascinating alien. Even if he wasn’t *sob* real yet, I could believe we’d meet some lucky day.