Film at 11…


Happily, all lawn improvements seem to have been accomplished. I hope Lawnmower Man and Wood-chipper Chum are enjoying a nice cold beer, and possibly viewing one or another of the various televised sporting events in which Manly Men such as they so delight. I’m sure there’s something on. (If they can bear the sound of the vuvuzelas.)

Just as peace descended, my glance happened to fall on our bird bath, which sits on a corner of our porch, and was at the moment bone-dry and filled with crusty scum. How sad, I thought, that our birdie pals will go without refreshment, since I am today focusing on creating prose and undertaking acts in support of the creation of prose.

But, I could at least put some water in it. That would take hardly any time at all from my immersion in creativity. Birds have a rather high tolerance for scum, really. And it’s going to get very hot later. Have a heart.

So, I was about to pour some water into it… when I got a good look at the crud.

Hm, says I. It seems to be moving….

Now, I am a friend of nature, and enjoy all sorts of critters most people go “eww!” at. But I feel I must draw the line at thousands of tiny worms in near-microscopic writhing clumps.

Seriously, it was like a miniature Syfy-channel movie. (And with about as much plot.)

Detatch, put on the grass. Hose down. Brush. Bleach. Brush hard . Hose down. Bleach. Brush. Hose… All the time, my skin crawling, and me muttering “ew, ew, ew,” under my breath.

An hour later: sparkly clean birdbath, lots of fresh water! And those little medusa-like clumps now just a bad memory.

Plus: I am freezing up a block of ice to put in the bath later, which is a nice thing to do on very hot days. Keeps the water cool for a while.

And now back to your regular scheduled programming.

6 Responses to “Film at 11…”

  • Elizabeth B Says:

    GAAAAHHHH. Thanks for the creepy-crawlies. I can feel my scalp trying to depart my skull. Ew, ew, ew indeed.

    Perhaps you could weaponize the worms and place them on Lawnmower Man’s mower seat. He would surely be driven away by the sheer grossness of it all. No harm would come to him, unless his scalp came off. (Speaking of grossness.)

    Either way, may you enjoy success in your endeavors today.

  • Nonesuch Says:

    Well, I hope you’re happy! In your single-minded pursuit of providing “refreshment” for your hypothetical birds, you have probably taken the lives of the many thousands of very real, blameless and cuddly mosquito larvae that were growing in the nurturing curve of your basin of standing water. There’s a name for people like you.

    And it’s probably not Fred.

    • Rosemary Says:

      Nonesuch –

      They were not innocent mosquito larvae! The basin was bone-dry!

      But no, no — must not dwell on the ew-inducing memory!

  • Linnea Rowlatt Says:

    Mayhap the birds would have eaten them…

    • Rosemary Says:

      Maybe… but these things were seriously weird. They looked as if, once eaten by a bird, they might just happily turn around and eat the bird themselves, from the inside out.